April 21, 2021

Sometimes life destroys you. 
Sometimes it burns you to the ground. 

In March 2021 that’s what happened to me. 

In just 4 weeks I went from happily-ever-after to widowed-mother-of-five after making a dark and twisted discovery about my husband. 

Rather than be consumed by the fire, I choose to be transformed. 

This is my story.
Watch me rise.

🔥

Four weeks ago, life as I knew it was completely shattered. I received a phone call revealing that the man I married, the man I had known and loved since I was 12, had been severely deceiving me and hurting our child for years.

I went completely numb.

At first my mind said, No.

No way, not true, didn’t happen.

But then I heard the facts. And it was like a punch right to the gut. Repeatedly.

It was true.

It had happened.

My worst nightmare had come to life…

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t speak.

Everything went blank.

I hung up the phone, gathered up my babies and went straight to the authorities without a second thought.

Four weeks ago my whole world fell apart.

Survivor instincts kicked in and over the next few weeks I went to into auto-pilot, doing everything and anything I could to protect my children.

I cried. I screamed. I raged. I fell to my knees and cried out in anguish to God.

I’ve questioned myself and replayed the memories and tried figuring out where it all went so wrong… what did I do? What didn’t I do? Why wasn’t I ever enough?

I had known my marriage was broken, that my husband was sick and refused to seek treatment; but I didn’t realize the depth of his demons and I was determined to stay true to my word…

…for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…

In the end, it was never about me. It wasn’t even about us. The man had ailments he wouldn’t acknowledge… pain he couldn’t admit… torment he’d never escape. An avid defender of freedom, he never truly was free.

I pray that now he is finally at peace. That he atoned for his sins and found the release he so desperately sought in life.

…until death do us part.

We will always miss you, Aric, and forever grieve what should have been. Rest in peace.

#mentalhealthawareness #mensmentalhealth #normalizetherapy #askforhelp #addiction #breakthesilence #breakthecycle #SpeakUpSpeakOut #metoo

Abuse isn’t always black and blue. If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out to Flight of the Phoenix Collective. We’ve got your back.